This Friday I’m going to turn 25! How scary is that?! A whole quarter of a century, and I still feel like I’m far too new to life to be allowed out on my own.
Sometimes I worry that I’ve not achieved everything I wanted to have done by now. So many people I went to school with have had babies, are having babies, are getting married, are married, or are divorced by now. That’s a wee bit freaky! Facebook is a terrible thing for that. I suppose I’ve done some pretty cool things myself – driven the Nurburgring, travelled alone, done a Masters degree (despite still not being entirely sure if it’s Masters or Master’s or even Masters’!), and I do have to keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to other people – just because that particular thing is their sole goal in life, doesn’t mean I am a failure for not achieving it. And sometimes being on the outside means you see the whole picture of a situation that those inside of it are totally blind to.
Not only am I turning 25 this Friday, but it also is a different milestone for me. I would have been graduating for my PGCE as well. I can’t quite believe that over half a year ago I was in schools doing my teaching practice. I may not know exactly what I want to do or what I’m meant to do in life, but I definitely know what I don’t want to do – which I think is a lot more than many people do. A lot of people told me I was brave for deciding that teaching wasn’t for me and stepping out of it. I never once thought it was brave: to me, it was just a horrible situation, and one that I couldn’t bear to be in any longer. And I can honestly say, hand on my heart, that it has been a decision I’ve never regretted! I don’t think I would have made it to graduation in any case.
This weekend I went to see Into the Woods performed by the Hessle Theatre Company, and then I went to a Garden Party raising money for MIND. I feel like I’ve had a busy weekend, away from home, and going to the Garden Party really helped me put things into perspective, especially since it was held in honour of someone who has passed away. It was an absolutely wonderful event to attend, and I think my friend Karen and her partner Mark did a fantastic job!
I may not have gotten married or popped out a sproglet, however I have a professional job which I hope I’m good at (!!!), some amazing friends, a wonderful family, and, possibly the best bit – I have managed to grow a cauliflower! An actual cauliflower! I’ve managed to do some writing: it probably wasn’t Booker-Prize-winning, but it was sincere; and I’ve actually got to Book Nine in the Wheel of Time. I won’t say anything about work, to not jinx it, but I do feel pretty happy right now.
So please feel free to wish me a happy birthday!